There is something about finally reaching a goal that I do not understand. I am not as happy as I thought I would be. I have wished for this greatly and dreamed of the day I would finally be able to achieve it but the happiness I feel now just doesn’t seem to be enough. I want to be happy and I find that I am, just not for this reason. I begin to question what I really want because now that I finally got what I wanted, or thought I wanted, I am not as happy as you would expect me to. And finally achieving this goal poses even more worry. Now I have to maintain this rank and not disappoint my parents and the people who believe in me. The former top of the class is my friend and she’s sad and would probably give a lot just to be in my place right now but here I am feeling all depressed and sappy. It’s like this rank doesn’t compensate for all the worries and effort I put in my studies. There’s no proportion.

I am not sad. There’s just this feeling of being dejected because what I thought I want is not really what makes me happy. The only thing keeping my going is this small sense of pride because my mom is very happy (she’s happier than I am and it makes me feel good to have made her happy) and my closest friends are all doting on me.

I apologize for the depressing tone of this post. It probably ruined your day. On a happier note, Foundation Day in school is just a few weeks away. I wish it would be even better than last year.

The only thing that seemed to register on my mind when I first watched this back when I was innocent and young was the disgusting things. Case in point #1, Chihiro’s parents turning into pigs and acting so inhumane and even had a savage quality in them. Case in point #2, No Face eating everything and then vomiting it out a few scenes after. Disgusting. Case in point #3, All that blood on Haku when he was wounded. I am, obviously, older now and these things don’t bother me that much anymore (Except for the vomiting part. ugh. Worst sound in the world. Main reason why I hate when people get drunk.) but my memory seemed to have intensified everything so that it really took me a while to suck it up and grow some balls.

Contrary to what you would believe, I don’t regret picking up this show just now. With a plethora of phlegm knowledge in my now mature brain, I am able to understand the movie even better than I would have had I re-watched it any earlier. The experience of watching this movie was akin to remembering something from your childhood. It was the kind of happiness that had a melancholic tinge to it so that it was almost close to sadness. But it’s the kind of sadness that you actually like having because it made you think; about the people around you, about people you once kept close to you, about yourself.

There was just no dull moment in this movie. It portrayed the idea of growing up, love, friendship and everything else in the most creative manner possible. It was just so beautiful. I’ve watched so many Ghibli films now. In fact, I think it’s safe to say that most of the animated movies I’ve watched is from Ghibli. But this one tops it all. By a long, long, long margin. I’m not sure I even justified it well but I assure you, if you are putting off watching this movie for some reason, then the perfect time to watch it is now. Unless it’s 3am in there, in that case you should go to sleep because seriously, are you trying to kill yourself?, and then watch this when you wake up and then change your sleeping habits. You will regret nothing.

Filed under: . Anime, Manga, Rated 5, Shows ]]> http://onewingedchibi.wordpress.com/2011/12/27/spirited-away/feed/ 2 meltedpoo http://onewingedchibi.wordpress.com/2011/12/21/the-virgin-suicides-by-jeffrey-eugenides/ http://onewingedchibi.wordpress.com/2011/12/21/the-virgin-suicides-by-jeffrey-eugenides/#comments Wed, 21 Dec 2011 04:44:15 +0000 meltedpoo http://onewingedchibi.wordpress.com/?p=1907 ]]> The Virgin Suicides
by Jeffrey Eugenides

I do not know how to start this review. I am not sure where this book stands in my heart. It filled me with emotions but not enough for it to overflow. I liked it but there seemed to be no specific point where it picked up pace, gained momentum and finally reached an event where everything just turned beautiful, tragic and unforgettable all at once. Mostly it was just tragic and the thing about ‘mostly being tragic’ is that it stops being one halfway through because you are finally used to it. I’m just glad it’s not like The Lovely Bones. Just the sight of that book makes me wince.

The narration allows us to view the situation as spectators. We are not living the moment and so, a lot of things remain uncertain. We can only make speculations as to why the 5 Lisbon girls decided to kill themselves. I think this is a pretty good way of writing. In fact, I admire the author’s genius for this. It gave way to a realistic feel (because, really, no one will ever really know why a person decides to kill themselves) and in-between reading and resting, a heavy cloud hung upon me. It really did feel like someone just committed suicide in my neighborhood. That’s what makes a good novel, isn’t it? The ability to live the moment, no matter how low the chances are of that ever happening.

The thing that appealed to me the most is the way the Lisbon girls are portrayed. They were so distant and yet so beautiful. They were like creatures wanting to socialize but forbidden to because they were meant to be caged. And what could they do? It was not up to them to decide their fates because someone else was already mapping it out for them. The whole novel gave me a feeling of suffocation. How they could stand it, I cannot even imagine.

The Virgin Suicides was good, beautiful, even. There was just something lacking about it. It left something vital. I wanted to know more about the girls and the reason why they committed suicide. But since we are just spectators, I guess I will never know.

Rated 4/5

Anyway, exams are finally done, Christmas party at school just ended and I have nothing to worry about! Except my growing headache because I slept too much today.

A lot of new things happened during that time I was gone from the internet world. Most of them you won’t even be able to understand because it only makes me happy. I tell my friends stories and they just nod and continue on with theirs. So some are really better off unsaid.

You know how our class is divided into two this year, right? Because we are too many. So basically there’s a huge cat fight going on with our section and theirs. It started with the cheating issue which we probably hinted without malice and they took seriously because it’s true. It’s getting pretty nasty. Although I do not see the point. People in my section cheat as much as they do (probably not as bad but still. Cheating is cheating). Now I do not have the freedom to talk to people in the other section because we are all a bunch of negative idiots. Not like there’s anyone there I particularly wanted to talk to. It’s just that even when you take no part in the argument, your section name grants you a free pass into the cat fight. Why are girls like this? I will never understand.

In another livelier note, Christmas party is done! I got two mangas, which I already know I would get because I forced him to get it and we bought it together. Good things come when you are friends with the person who gets your name. Except when you are really close they feel it’s okay to not give you an extra. Idiot. Anyway, I was happy with my gift (mostly because I like the person who gave it. Isn’t it always that way?)  Oh and my friend also bought me a book, The Virgin Suicides. I haven’t been able to return the favor. Maybe next time we meet.

AND I was narrator for a Christmas play in school (which the girls in the other section claimed sucks. Oh burn) and that was where all my happiness came from, basically. I experienced the most beautiful thing in the entire universe. It was like being in a manga. No kidding.

So anyway, I won’t elaborate. This room is really hot and I can’t organize my thoughts. I’ll talk more next time. bye-bye.

It took me a re-read to appreciate this novel, at least a little. Truth was, I didn’t really like it the first time I read it. There was something odd about it. Murakami novels have always been weird, but I felt like this one was even weirder than usual and I finished it with mixed feelings. Even so, I couldn’t hate it. There was something about the novel that made me feel like there was something wrong with me instead of there being something wrong with the novel. It was like the novel was mocking me because I couldn’t understand it instead of feeling down because I couldn’t appreciate it. I sound paranoid, don’t I? Giving the novel a personality, and a very proud one at that. Still, those were what I felt and those were the reasons why I re-read the novel. (I do not want to be mocked by anybody- or anything. Much less an inanimate object.)

It turned out to be a good decision. Though it never managed to be a favorite, I at least had an understanding of what it was about. I caught up on things that I didn’t notice the first time around. I think it was very deep and, as is constantly hinted, is packed-full of metaphors. Not that I understood all of them.

The main reason why I didn’t enjoy it the first time was because of the writing. There was something amateur-ish, for lack of better word, about it. Not the whole novel, mind you. Just the Crow parts. Okay, maybe my prejudices lie on one thing alone: The boy named Crow. Call me crazy, but it annoyed me to no end. The way he repeated a statement into another point of view. Just when everything was getting all dramatic, he butts in and the spell is broken. I don’t get his purpose. Or maybe I did but just refuse to acknowledge him as someone useful, someone who can move the story along. I get the whole symbolism thing about him, but that doesn’t mean I have to like him, right?

The other reasons are just petty and not worth mentioning. If I did, I’d spoil quite a good portion of the novel.

The one thing that made me, well, not exactly like it but at least not hate it, was the alternate world. I didn’t really look deeper into that the first time but now, reading between the lines, everything seems so surreal and dreamy and beautiful. It was the one thing that I could never forget long after putting the book down. And of course, there’s Oshima, the mushroom story and Oshima.

This will perhaps never be my favorite Murakami novel but it will remain unforgettable because it was dreamy and because of the cocky personality the book seemed to have towards me.

I cannot rate this because 3 seems too small and 4 too big.

The Music Video is pretty scary the first time you watch it. It’s like one of those dramatic evening shows with lots of killings and guns. But you get used to it and the song is really, really good, too. I’m listening to it now and I can’t stop replaying again and again.

This manga just made my sem-break close to perfect. I believe it was fate that brought us together.

Yotsubato made me realize just how boring my childhood was. I don’t remember ever being that energetic! The whole time I was reading, I just wanted to go back to being a child and live a life like Yotsuba. Heck, I don’t even know how to ride a bicycle! I’ve always been inside my comfort zone and as much as possible I do not venture out too far. You could say I’m not the adventurous type. Reading this manga, however, made me think of how much I’m missing out. I want to try riding a hot air balloon, too! Milking a cow might be too much, though…

Everyone in this manga is just lovable. No character pissed me off and ahh…I just love them all. Especially Tiger and Yanda. I’m kind of wishing that they will finally meet and have some interaction but for now I’m just going to ship them in my mind.

Yotsubato made me feel good more than anything else this sem-break. I reached the latest chapter in just 2 days or so, which is a record for me. I’m a little sad that I won’t have anything to read anymore (and this is also new because mostly I just feel relieved that finally a burden is lifted up) but I’m looking forward to the new chapters. Needless to say, I’m looking for a manga as good as this and I’m finding it hard because Yotsubato set the standards too high.

The worst sort of uncertainty is when you don’t know where you stand in a person’s life.

CONTAINS SPOILERS

I admit I never finished Clannad ~After Story~. It’s not that I didn’t like it. In fact, the first few episodes were entertaining. Moreover, it was a chance to see what became of the characters that I have sympathized with in the first Clannad. The main reason I only just picked up the anime now is because I was lazy. The reason of all reasons.

Well, defending myself aside, I’m glad I re-watched it from the beginning and this time actually finished it. I’m glad sem-breaks exist. It was one of the saddest things I’ve watched in a while and I cried a couple of times. Anyone who can watch this anime without crying is seriously lacking in the emotion department.

I knew that Nagisa was going to die and that they would have a child but what comes after that I was totally unprepared for. I guess it’s good that I didn’t read any spoilers on that part although I still ended up crying more on Nagisa’s death scene compared to Ushio’s even though it should have been the other way around because I should have been prepared already. I guess it’s because I have more time to grow attached to Nagisa compared to Ushio. Ushio is an adorable little kid but I don’t like what they did with her voice. It was annoying. After Nagisa’s soft, cute voice, it just pales in comparison.

Now I’m not much into reviving scenes. Remember my indignation towards Code Geass’ many, many, many revival scenes? I think that sad endings are what make shows unforgettable. We got all sorts of happy endings and well-done sad endings are well, sad but also leaves you with this warm feeling because you do not regret watching the anime in the first place. So when makers reverse the course of events and revive characters, it kind of puts me in a foul mood.

Not this time, however. I truly felt that Tomoya had too much sufferings too last him a lifetime. He had a fairly bad teenage life with his dad and then he loses Nagisa, AND THEN he loses his only daughter. That’s just too much for one person to handle. So the change of events made me happy more than anything else. I think Tomoya deserved that much. And it was done in the most surreal way that I can’t help but be fascinated and in the end love it. The mystery about the other world is finally revealed (it’s one of the scenes that I’ve always been wondering about and it pissed me off that I couldn’t figure it out) and what can I say? It was in every way perfect.

I know this is a very poorly-done post and my thoughts are all over the place but I just loved the anime so much. When I love something, it’s impossible for me to put into words what exactly made it beautiful. I seem to only have the ability to write when it comes to insulting.

Nonetheless,

5/5

For a book with such eye-catching awards printed in the cover, it sure was disappointing as hell. I bought this for a number of reasons. One, because it was by a Japanese author and I’m a faggot. Two, because I like mystery novels. I like the tension it builds up as you read. Three, I was hoping for a book that I could not put down. Four, because c’mon, who isn’t interested with award-winning books? It didn’t live up to my expectations, though. Naturally, it wasn’t low but it wasn’t that high either so for an award-winning novel I hoped it could have reached, if not exceeded, it.

Basically, it was about a guy whose fiancee runs out on him. He learns some pretty dark secret about her and he hires his uncle, who is a detective, to look for this girl. The detective (or police, or whichever) takes up on the challenge and finds some pretty shady details about the girl’s identity. Turns out, she was not who she claims to be.

Pretty basic story with a summary ending with and he/she is not who she/he claims to be. Classic. Surely, you can’t go wrong with something like that? But something did went wrong and I noticed it even before I reached the middle part of the book. There was something missing. Something very vital.

There was no emotional involvement.

I could have italicized the previous statement for dramatic effect but never mind.

You see, the missing girl’s fiancee, meaning the guy who hired his uncle, was a big ass. Half-way through he ran out and gave up on the case because he believed that his lover’s name was being tarnished. And he didn’t do it in the manliest way. It was just pretty awkward. He just dashed off, as if the author felt no need for him anymore because his only use was to introduce the case and just completely wrote him off. That, of course, is probably the exact reason but still. The author could have done it in a more sophisticated manner. Or, better yet, she could have introduced the case through some other means.

The person looking for the girl was totally unrelated to her. They haven’t even met! I felt that was the biggest mistake. The novel lacked emotional depth. The detective and the girl could have shared something. The detective mentioned his wife a couple of times but was that it? Was that supposed to be the emotional moment? Are you kidding me? And the way he mentions his wife (who, by the way, died in a car accident) is just…no words for it. Really. He mentions her, remembering their time together, and instead of sympathizing and thinking, ‘poor guy’ you just can’t help but say, ‘who cares? who the hell cares?’.

And the ending…Sweet mother of Athena. The ending was just horrible. This is what I don’t like about hanging endings. It’s like the author could not think of a more interesting way to end it so she goes with the cliffhanger strategy. Could have fooled them but not me! The moment when everything would be explained in the suspect’s point of view would have been the most dramatic moment. It could have saved it from all the things I said above. But no. The author chose to let us end it in our heads. Cliffhanger endings are interesting but it just doesn’t work when you are writing a Mystery novel, in my opinion.

It had it’s shining moments. I found myself shocked and interested more than once. And I admit I did not want to stop reading. It was engaging. But those moments just don’t cover up all the flaws in this novel. I just don’t understand how it got Novel of The Year. And more than once I had to re-read because all those bankruptcy talk just stirred my brain in a bad way.

Rated 3/5